Crap Towns / Inverclyde / Gourock
Gourock
23/100Crap Score
757th crappest of 984 towns, and 3rd in Inverclyde. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Gourock? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Gourock. Even the rain's posher.
Greenock's tidy wee neighbour, with an outdoor pool, a ferry to Dunoon and the rain to go with both.
Gourock is the tidy end of Inverclyde and doesn't let Greenock forget it. Crime's about a third of the typical Scottish town's, the vandals hardly bother, and there's an outdoor pool on the front, heated, so folk get their kit off beside the Clyde. Getting out is baltic. There's rain on 208 days of the year, wetter than Greenock, and Greenock's hardly dry. There are 6 public toilets, which for a town this size is nearly four times the usual ration, so at least you can get out of it.
The ferry to Dunoon goes from the pier. Gourock folk will tell you that's the best thing about Dunoon.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Gourock's 100 for rain means it's crapper than 100% of towns.
- Rain100/100208 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Broadband88/10019.5% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 14.4% across the Inverclyde council area
- Sewage spills51/100
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Deliberate fires50/10019.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene46/1004.7% told to improve, of the 64 food businesses inspected
- Serious road collisions22/1001.2 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour8/1003.3 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Air pollution2/1004.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Criminal damage and arson1/1002.7 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Greenock | 83 |
| 2 | Port Glasgow | 65 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.3 | Gourock | 23 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Gourock by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 19.6 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Better: 64% lower than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 1 reports of abandoned vehicles on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 1.0 per 10,000 people, 2.5x the typical Scottish town's 0.4
- Good Lunderston Bay's bathing water rating, 2025
What's left on the high street
- 6 pubs, 3 hairdressers on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 6 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 6.0 per 10,000 people, 3.8x the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.59pm last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 20% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 14.6% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 6% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,315 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 14% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Inverclyde council
- £1,674 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £21 more than the Scottish average
- 36% of Inverclyde council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 36%
- 16 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld Better: 20.4 per 100,000 residents, 41% lower than Scotland's 34.7
- 89.8% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Gourock against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.