Crap Towns / Somerset / Glastonbury
Glastonbury
84/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 84. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Sorry, the festival's in Pilton
The festival's down the road. The town gets the traffic, the litter and none of the tickets.
Glastonbury's most famous thing happens in Pilton. The town gets the jams, the full car parks and the litter, and locals can't get tickets because some bloke in London used his auntie's address.
The rest of the year it's the Tor, charity shops and pubs, and crime at 1.7 times the typical town's rate, with shoplifting at over three times. People get killed or badly hurt on the roads at well over twice the typical town's rate, and the storm overflows spill for over eight times as long per head. Street's next door, and for once Street's laughing.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Glastonbury's 96 for serious road collisions means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Serious road collisions96/1005.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills96/1002,343 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour92/10028.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband85/10011.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 24.3% across the Somerset council area
- Criminal damage and arson85/10010.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires66/1008.6 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Rain63/100136 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene22/1001.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 102 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping19/1006.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Somerset council area, 2023-24 to 2024-25
- Air pollution13/1004.9 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| – | Glastonbury | 84 |
| 1 | Bath | 66 |
| 2 | Bridgwater | 57 |
| 3 | Taunton | 52 |
| 4 | Keynsham | 51 |
| 5 | Weston-super-Mare | 51 |
| 6 | Midsomer Norton | 41 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.7 | Chard | 38 |
| 8 | Yeovil | 34 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Glastonbury by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 130 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 1.7x the typical town's 76.2
- 3 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 3.6 per 10,000 people, 6% higher than the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 10 pubs, 6 hairdressers, 6 charity shops, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.4 per 10,000 people, 1.5x the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 1.16am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 14.1% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 9% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,586 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Somerset council
Have a crap-off
Glastonbury against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.