Crap Towns / West Glamorgan / Clydach
Clydach
38/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 38. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Clydach? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Lovely canal, until the scrambler comes
Pretty village, nice canal, and a scrambler tearing up the towpath.
Clydach's got a canal, a decent park and a bloody great nickel refinery in the middle of it. Crime's low, the roads are safe, and the air's cleaner than the typical town's, refinery and all, which is annoying.
The river's another story. Sewage comes out of the overflows for 35 times as long as in the typical town. It rains here on 176 days a year, and there's no bus after 6.33pm and none at all on a Sunday. The moans are scramblers on the towpath and kids hanging round the library. Nice canal walk, mind. Just don't look in the water.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Clydach's 100 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 100% of towns.
- Sewage spills100/1009,637 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Broadband97/10036.1% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 8.4% across the Swansea council area
- Rain96/100176 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires50/100
- Fly-tipping44/10010.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Swansea council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Food hygiene42/1001.9% rated 0 to 2, of the 53 food businesses with a rating
- Criminal damage and arson31/1005.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour14/1009.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution12/1005.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions8/1000.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Port Talbot | 53 |
| 2 | Swansea | 46 |
| 3 | Neath | 40 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.– | Clydach | 38 |
| 4 | Baglan | 32 |
| 5 | Gorseinon | 25 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Clydach by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 56.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 26% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 10 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 11.8 per 10,000 people, 3.5x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 1 hairdresser, 1 bookmaker on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.2 per 10,000 people, 25% lower than the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 6.33pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 3.2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 24.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 1.6x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,479 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Swansea council
Have a crap-off
Clydach against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.