Crap Towns / West Glamorgan / Port Talbot
Port Talbot
53/100Crap Score
Known as Portaloo.
459th crappest of 984 towns, and the crappest in West Glamorgan. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Don't buy a white dog
Steelworks on one side, a long beach on the other, and dust over everything.
Port Talbot is a steelworks with a town attached. The steel jobs are going, the dust is still coming and the motorway is stuck on a crawling speed limit.
Aberavon beach is long and lovely, and the bathing water came out Excellent, which nobody saw coming. The sewers still overflow for seven times as long as the typical town's. The rain turns up on 170 days a year, and on a Sunday there's next to no bus. Locals call it Port Toilet. Harsh. Not that harsh.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Port Talbot's 93 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 93% of towns.
- Sewage spills93/1001,919 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain92/100170 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene83/1004.8% rated 0 to 2, of the 272 food businesses with a rating
- Criminal damage and arson70/1008.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour63/10017.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband53/1004.5% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 16.8% across the Neath Port Talbot council area
- Deliberate fires50/100
- Air pollution25/1007.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping15/1005.6 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Neath Port Talbot council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions7/1001.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Port Talbot | 53 |
| 2 | Swansea | 46 |
| 3 | Neath | 40 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.4 | Baglan | 32 |
| 5 | Gorseinon | 25 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Port Talbot by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 101 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 33% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 14 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 4.4 per 10,000 people, 29% higher than the typical town's 3.4
- Excellent Aberafan's bathing water rating, 2025
What's left on the high street
- 16 pubs, 3 hairdressers, 1 charity shop, 1 bookmaker, 3 vape shops, 1 bank, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 6.8% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (3 of 44) Worse: 1.7x the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 6.3 per 100,000 people, 1.9x the typical town's 3.4
- 8 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.5 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 10.40pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.9% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 1.8x the typical town's 0.5%
- 38.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2.5x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,562 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Neath Port Talbot council
Have a crap-off
Port Talbot against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.