Crap Towns / Lancashire / Church
Church
97/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 97. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Keep going.
Halfway along the Leeds and Liverpool Canal. Boaters look up, see Church, and keep going.
Church is halfway along the Leeds and Liverpool Canal, and that's the best anyone can say for it. The cotton went years ago. Even the towpath changes sides to get away from it.
What's left sets fire to things. The firebugs are busy, at more than six times the typical town's rate, and bins get torched about thirteen times as often. Anti-social behaviour is 2.7 times the typical town's, and the storm overflows spill for nearly five times as long. There's rain on 174 days a year and the sun gets 1,321 hours.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Church's 98 for anti-social behaviour means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Anti-social behaviour98/10037.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain95/100174 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires94/10036.6 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Fly-tipping93/10033.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Hyndburn council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Sewage spills88/1001,331 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson87/10011.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions76/1003.6 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution57/1009.4 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.6 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene33/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 23 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband7/1000.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 6.2% across the Hyndburn council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 7 | Accrington | 99 |
| 8 | Burnley | 98 |
| 9 | Preston | 98 |
| 10 | Nelson | 98 |
| – | Church | 97 |
| 11 | Rawtenstall | 97 |
| 12 | Brierfield | 97 |
| 13 | Morecambe | 97 |
| 14 | Haslingden | 96 |
Church by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 117 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 1.5x the typical town's 76.2
- 4 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 8.0 per 10,000 people, 7.3x the typical town's 1.1
- 11 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2024
What's left on the high street
- 2 pubs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.44pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 43.1% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2.8x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,321 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 14% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Hyndburn council
- £2,466 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £74 more than the English average
- 26% of Lancashire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 1.6x England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Church against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.