Crap Towns / Nottinghamshire / Calverton
Calverton
11/100Crap Score
Locals call it Calvo.
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 11. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Calverton? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Arnold's getting closer.
Old pit village with knitters' cottages, a Greggs, and fields turning into houses.
Calverton had a pit and some knitters' cottages. Kept the cottages. Now the fields are going under new houses and Calvo's terrified it'll wake up in Arnold. The kids say there's nothing to do, and with 3 pubs and 1 Greggs on the map, they've got a point. Crime's low and nobody crashes, so it could be worse. It could be Arnold.
The broadband's stuck somewhere in the last century. 44 premises can't even get 10 Mbit/s, the legal minimum, and the share that can't get superfast is more than five times the typical town's. And the local yobs have been setting the fields alight lately, far more than they used to.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Calverton's 70 for broadband means it's crapper than 70% of towns.
- Broadband70/10014.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 6.5% across the Gedling council area
- Air pollution58/1008.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires57/1006.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Criminal damage and arson42/1006.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills36/100134 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Fly-tipping33/1008.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Gedling council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Food hygiene32/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 26 food businesses with a rating
- Rain28/100120 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Anti-social behaviour15/1009.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions4/1000.6 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 13 | Mansfield Woodhouse | 55 |
| 14 | Balderton | 54 |
| 15 | New Ollerton and Ollerton | 54 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.16 | Beeston | 35 |
| 17 | West Bridgford | 33 |
| 18 | Arnold | 25 |
| 19 | Carlton | 25 |
| 20 | Bingham | 16 |
| – | Calverton | 11 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Calverton by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 48.6 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 36% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 3 reports of graffiti and fly-posting on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026
What's left on the high street
- 3 pubs, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 1.4 per 10,000 people, 2x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.13am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 2.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 5.4x the typical town's 0.5%
- 40.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2.6x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,536 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Gedling council
- £2,610 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £218 more than the English average
- 19% of Nottinghamshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 19% higher than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Calverton against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.