Crap Towns / Surrey / Byfleet
Byfleet
78/100Crap Score
214th crappest of 984 towns, and 5th in Surrey. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Looks nice. Isn't.
Byfleet looks like nice Surrey. Then the lorries come through and you try the kitchens.
Byfleet's next to Brooklands, where they used to race cars. The lads on Oyster Lane are keeping that going in their hatchbacks, and serious crashes come in at over twice the typical town's rate. Depot lorries rumble through, Parvis Road is jammed or dug up, and the potholes would swallow a Fiesta.
The old racing circuit itself has ended up on the at-risk register, so not even Brooklands is safe. The kitchens get rated 0 to 2 at 3.6 times the typical town's rate and the storm overflows spill for 3.7 times as long. There's barely a park to sit in. Byfleet's a lot crapper than it looks.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Byfleet's 96 for serious road collisions means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Serious road collisions96/1005.2 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution87/10012.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene87/1008.6% rated 0 to 2, of the 58 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband86/10020.9% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 8.5% across the Woking council area
- Sewage spills83/1001,020 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Fly-tipping62/10012.4 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Woking council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Deliberate fires39/100
- Criminal damage and arson28/1005.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour19/10010.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain11/100114 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Staines-upon-Thames | 93 |
| 2 | Redhill | 84 |
| 3 | Horley | 80 |
| 4 | Leatherhead | 79 |
| 5 | Byfleet | 78 |
| 6 | Chertsey | 72 |
| 7 | Addlestone | 67 |
| 8 | Egham | 67 |
| 9 | Reigate | 67 |
Byfleet by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 59.3 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 22% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 781 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 550 per 10,000 people, 161.8x the typical town's 3.4
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2021
What's left on the high street
- 4 pubs, 4 hairdressers, 1 bookmaker on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 10) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 9 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 6.3 per 10,000 people, 3.9x the typical town's 1.6
- 4 public swimming pools open; 1 closed for good since 2010 Better: 2.8 per 10,000 people, 4x the typical English town's 0.7
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 10.36pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 40% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 28.6% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 1.8x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,638 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 7% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Woking council
Have a crap-off
Byfleet against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.