Crap Towns / Hertfordshire / Borehamwood
Borehamwood
50/100Crap Score
491st crappest of 984 towns, and 3rd in Hertfordshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
What do you do round here? Leave.
They film Star Wars here. Then everyone buggers off home, because there's nothing to do.
Borehamwood calls itself British Hollywood because they film Star Wars and EastEnders here. Locals call it Boringwood, because once the crews go home there's nowhere to go out. There are 6 pubs for the whole town, so everyone ends up in St Albans, which is the last thing a Boreham Wood fan wants to admit.
No nightlife, and somehow still plenty of aggro: anti-social behaviour comes in at 1.7 times the typical town's. The air's grubby, the banks have announced 6 branch closures and the flats come with service charges that'd make a film producer wince.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Borehamwood's 90 for air pollution means it's crapper than 90% of towns.
- Air pollution90/10012.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour87/10024.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene62/1003.1% rated 0 to 2, of the 191 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband59/1009.3% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 10.2% across the Hertsmere council area
- Fly-tipping59/10011.0 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Hertsmere council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson51/1007.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires39/1005.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Serious road collisions25/1001.8 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain22/100118 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Waltham Cross | 78 |
| 2 | Hatfield | 67 |
| 3 | Borehamwood | 50 |
| 4 | Hemel Hempstead | 50 |
| 5 | Stevenage | 50 |
| 6 | Baldock | 45 |
| 7 | Potters Bar | 43 |
| 8 | Bushey | 42 |
| 9 | Welwyn Garden City | 42 |
Borehamwood by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 90.8 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 19% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 113 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 28.4 per 10,000 people, 8.4x the typical town's 3.4
- 3 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2022
What's left on the high street
- 6 pubs, 11 hairdressers, 4 charity shops, 4 bookmakers, 6 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 4.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 25) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 4.0%
- 6 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 15.1 per 100,000 people, 4.4x the typical town's 3.4
- 10 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.5 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open; 2 closed for good since 2010 Worse: 0.5 per 10,000 people, 29% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.44am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 3.2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 8.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 47% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,625 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 6% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Hertsmere council
- £2,406 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £14 more than the English average
- 18% of Hertfordshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 13% higher than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Borehamwood against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.