Crap Towns / West Dunbartonshire / Bonhill
Bonhill
84/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 84. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Bonhill. Across the river, same mess.
The Vale's other half, across the Leven. The printworks went and the rain stayed.
Bonhill is the half of the Vale on the other side of the river from Alexandria, and the two of them mostly argue about which side the rain hits first. The printworks that made the place shut long ago, and the storm overflows nearby spilled at more than eight times the typical town's rate.
They don't bother with the bins here. It's the hillside that gets set alight, and 2025/26 was their busiest year yet. Somebody keeps dumping cars as well, and the boy racers have Main Street.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Bonhill's 99 for rain means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Rain99/100186 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills96/1002,317 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Anti-social behaviour78/10011.9 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Serious road collisions77/1002.3 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson74/1008.9 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Deliberate fires72/10033.0 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Food hygiene47/1004.6% told to improve, of the 22 food businesses inspected
- Broadband35/1005.1% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 8.2% across the West Dunbartonshire council area
- Air pollution3/1004.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Clydebank | 96 |
| – | Bonhill | 84 |
| 2 | Dumbarton | 83 |
Bonhill by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 59.2 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Worse: 9% higher than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 6 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 7.0 per 10,000 people, 25% higher than the typical Scottish town's 5.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.12pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 11.8% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 24% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,309 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 15% lower than the typical town's 1,532
West Dunbartonshire council
- £1,682 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £29 more than the Scottish average
- 31% of West Dunbartonshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 14% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 49 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, 3 upheld Worse: 55.4 per 100,000 residents, 1.6x Scotland's 34.7
- 92.5% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Bonhill against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.