Crap Towns / West Dunbartonshire / Dumbarton
Dumbarton
83/100Crap Score
Locals are Sons and Daughters of the Rock.
164th crappest of 984 towns. It's the less crap of the two ranked towns in West Dunbartonshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Dumbarton. Lovely rock, mind.
A castle on a volcanic rock. Below it, the Artizan Centre, which is a different kind of ruin.
Dumbarton built the Cutty Sark, and the Cutty Sark had the sense to leave. What's left is a castle on a big rock and a town centre on its umpteenth revival plan, with the Artizan Centre in the middle of it that nobody's managed to revive at all. There are 3 Greggs, nearly five times the typical town's share per head, so it's not all bad.
The storm overflows nearby spilled at nearly nine times the typical town's rate, so the Leven's not one for paddling, and the anti-social lot had their busiest year yet in 2025. The Sons of the Rock still reckon they're better than Clydebank, and for once the numbers back them up.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Dumbarton's 98 for rain means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Rain98/100180 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills96/1002,407 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Anti-social behaviour90/10014.0 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Deliberate fires70/10031.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Broadband65/10011.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 8.2% across the West Dunbartonshire council area
- Criminal damage and arson64/1008.1 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Food hygiene51/1005.3% told to improve, of the 132 food businesses inspected
- Serious road collisions51/1001.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Air pollution3/1004.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Clydebank | 96 |
| 2 | Dumbarton | 83 |
Dumbarton by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 63.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Worse: 17% higher than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 31 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 14.7 per 10,000 people, 2.6x the typical Scottish town's 5.6
What's left on the high street
- 5 pubs, 9 hairdressers, 4 charity shops, 3 bookmakers, 1 vape shop, 4 banks, 3 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 13.0% of takeaways inspected told to improve (3 of 23) Worse: 43% higher than the typical Scottish town's 9.1%
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.4 per 10,000 people, 13% lower than the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.46am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 40% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 0.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: Against the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,330 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 13% lower than the typical town's 1,532
West Dunbartonshire council
- £1,682 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £29 more than the Scottish average
- 31% of West Dunbartonshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 14% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 49 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, 3 upheld Worse: 55.4 per 100,000 residents, 1.6x Scotland's 34.7
- 92.5% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Dumbarton against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.