Crap Towns / West Midlands / Blackheath
Blackheath
91/100Crap Score
People from here are Blackheathans.
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 91. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Blackheath. Not that one.
Not the posh one in London. The other one.
Blackheath's high street has the full set: bookies, vape shops, Greggs, 12 pubs and 13 hairdressers. Per head it's got more than eight times the typical town's bookies. Barclays and Lloyds have both announced they're off, so the bookies are about the only place left that'll take your money. Nobody's quite sure where Blackheath stops and Rowley Regis starts. Nobody's going to check either.
Crime sits at twice the typical town's rate and the shoplifters are on overtime. The serious crash rate is 2.4 times the typical town's, so the row about traffic through Market Place has a point. Sandwell records 3.3 times the typical council's fly-tipping, and the air's thick with nitrogen dioxide. The broadband's excellent, mind, which is the best reason going to stay in.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Blackheath's 96 for serious road collisions means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Serious road collisions96/1005.8 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping94/10035.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Sandwell council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution91/10013.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene81/1006.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 84 food businesses with a rating
- Criminal damage and arson77/1009.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills71/100622 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain62/100135 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Anti-social behaviour49/10010.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires24/1003.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Broadband0/1000.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 3.8% across the Sandwell council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Walsall | 92 |
| – | Blackheath | 91 |
| 2 | Wednesbury | 90 |
| 3 | Birmingham | 86 |
| 4 | Bloxwich | 84 |
| 5 | Brownhills | 82 |
| 6 | West Bromwich | 81 |
| 7 | Cradley Heath | 77 |
| 8 | Dudley | 76 |
Blackheath by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 150 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 2x the typical town's 76.2
- 1 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.4 per 10,000 people, 59% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2022
What's left on the high street
- 12 pubs, 13 hairdressers, 2 charity shops, 4 bookmakers, 1 vape shop, 3 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 10.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (2 of 20) Worse: 2.5x the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 28.8 per 100,000 people, 8.5x the typical town's 3.4
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 4.3 per 10,000 people, 2.7x the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.17am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: Against the typical town's 0.5%
- 46.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 3x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,493 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Sandwell council
Have a crap-off
Blackheath against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.