Crap Towns / West Midlands / Dudley
Dudley
76/100Crap Score
238th crappest of 984 towns, and 8th in the West Midlands. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
A big wheel, so you could see more of it
Boarded-up shops, tram works, pigeons, and a big wheel so you could see more of it.
Dudley's got a castle, a zoo and chips in orange batter. The town centre is boarded-up shops, tram works that go on forever and pigeons running the market. Everyone else shops out of town. They put up a big wheel so you could see more of it. Why?
Low hygiene ratings are nearly three times as common as in the typical town, and it's not even the chippies: the takeaways are cleaner than most. Crime's 1.6 times the typical town's, with burglary, robbery, car crime and blades all well up, and some bright spark sets fire to the bins at nearly three times the typical town's rate. The air's over the health guidelines on both counts. Just don't call it Birmingham.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Dudley's 94 for food hygiene means it's crapper than 94% of towns.
- Food hygiene94/1006.9% rated 0 to 2, of the 375 food businesses with a rating
- Serious road collisions92/1004.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution91/10012.9 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Criminal damage and arson87/10011.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires85/10016.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Rain61/100134 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Anti-social behaviour36/1008.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping36/1008.4 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Dudley council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Sewage spills29/10090.1 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Broadband15/1003.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 2.8% across the Dudley council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 4 | Bloxwich | 84 |
| 5 | Brownhills | 82 |
| 6 | West Bromwich | 81 |
| 7 | Cradley Heath | 77 |
| 8 | Dudley | 76 |
| 9 | Willenhall | 74 |
| 10 | Rushall and Shelfield | 73 |
| 11 | Oldbury | 72 |
| 12 | Tipton | 72 |
Dudley by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 119 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 1.6x the typical town's 76.2
- 235 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 36.6 per 10,000 people, 10.8x the typical town's 3.4
- 4 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 42 pubs, 39 hairdressers, 12 charity shops, 7 bookmakers, 2 vape shops, 12 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1.7% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 59) Better: 58% lower than the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Better: 1.6 per 100,000 people, 53% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 1 library shut for good since 2010: Woodside Library Link (2018)
- 6 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.9 per 10,000 people, 44% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open; 2 closed for good since 2010 Worse: 0.5 per 10,000 people, 29% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
- 2 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 1am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 20% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 21.6% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 39% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,481 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Dudley council
Have a crap-off
Dudley against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.