Crap Towns / West Lothian / Blackburn
Blackburn
79/100Crap Score
Known as the Burn.
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 79. Higher scores are crapper.
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Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
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Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
The Burn, and they mean it.
Cotton, then coal, then nothing. The parks get fireworks, the bins get torched and the bookies get the rest.
Blackburn did cotton, then coal, and now it's a commuter strip off the M8 with a name everyone mixes up with the one in Lancashire. Locals call it the Burn, which is about right. Deliberate fires come in at three times the typical Scottish town's rate and have got a lot worse since 2023. Bins and rubbish are top of the list, and the parks get the fireworks.
Serious crashes run at twice the typical Scottish town's rate, and the bookies per head at more than five times the typical town's. There's not much else on the Main Street to spend it on.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Blackburn's 96 for deliberate fires means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Deliberate fires96/10066.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Serious road collisions93/1003.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson86/10010.7 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Rain84/100161 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills73/100667 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Anti-social behaviour63/1009.7 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Broadband41/1006.5% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 7.7% across the West Lothian council area
- Food hygiene19/100
- Air pollution14/1006.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| – | Blackburn | 79 |
| 1 | Bathgate | 77 |
| 2 | Whitburn | 68 |
| 3 | Armadale | 58 |
| 4 | Livingston | 40 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.5 | Broxburn | 30 |
| 6 | Linlithgow | 20 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Blackburn by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 64.1 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Worse: 18% higher than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 17 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 32.2 per 10,000 people, 5.8x the typical Scottish town's 5.6
What's left on the high street
- 3 pubs, 2 bookmakers on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.9 per 10,000 people, 19% higher than the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.24pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 9.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 36% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,308 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 15% lower than the typical town's 1,532
West Lothian council
- £1,628 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £25 less than the Scottish average
- 31% of West Lothian council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 14% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 78 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld Worse: 43.0 per 100,000 residents, 24% higher than Scotland's 34.7
- 88.4% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Blackburn against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.