Crap Towns / Norfolk / Aylsham
Aylsham
14/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 14. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Officially dozy.
Aylsham is an official Slow Town. It got a badge for being dozy.
Aylsham has an actual badge saying it's a Slow Town. Somebody signed that off. There's a snail trail, a little steam train to Wroxham and a market square. The big punch-up is over parking charges. Traders say charges will kill the town. Mate, it's barely got a pulse. That's the whole selling point.
The broadband's on message too. Only 74.5% of premises can get gigabit, so even the internet's taking it easy. TSB has shut up shop, there are four times the typical town's charity shops per head, and the storm overflows spill for nearly twice as long as the typical town's. Nobody's in a hurry to sort any of it. They've got a badge.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Aylsham's 94 for broadband means it's crapper than 94% of towns.
- Broadband94/10025.5% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 18.4% across the Broadland council area
- Sewage spills66/100525 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Serious road collisions36/1002.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution30/1005.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Rain29/100120 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires28/1003.9 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene23/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 44 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping21/1006.6 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Broadland council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Anti-social behaviour16/1009.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson14/1004.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 6 | Dereham | 35 |
| 7 | Downham Market | 33 |
| 8 | Bradwell | 33 |
| 9 | Wymondham | 18 |
| 10 | North Walsham | 17 |
| – | Aylsham | 14 |
| 11 | Watton | 10 |
| 12 | Attleborough | 4 |
| 13 | Taverham and Drayton | 1 |
Aylsham by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 40.5 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 47% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 4 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 5.6 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 4 pubs, 5 hairdressers, 4 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 13.9 per 100,000 people, 4.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 4.2 per 10,000 people, 2.6x the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 1.4 per 10,000 people, 2x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.28pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.4x the typical town's 0.5%
- 21.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 37% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,610 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 5% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Broadland council
- £2,438 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £46 more than the English average
- 8% of Norfolk County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 50% lower than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Aylsham against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.