Duck.

South Kirkby lost its colliery, kept the football club named after it, and still scraps with South Elmsall and Hemsworth over the football. Lately some local idiots have taken to chucking stuff at cars and buses. Great plan, lads, that's the bus service gone. Never a copper about.

The bins go up in flames at over eleven times the typical town's rate, and burglary's twice the typical town's. The library went in 2011, and there's no public park on the map and no swimming pool. The storm overflows barely spill at all, to be fair, so the river's in better shape than the bus shelters. There's 8 pubs, plenty for arguing about Emsull.

The editor, who kept his head down on the bus