Crap Towns / West Midlands / Smethwick
Smethwick
70/100Crap Score
294th crappest of 984 towns, and 14th in the West Midlands. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Bins full again. Who's surprised?
It's spelt Smethwick and said Smerrick. The rubbish is everywhere either way.
Smethwick has a famous old engine, some proper canal bridges and a name nobody local says the way it's spelt. Black Patch Park is a dumping ground for the fly-tippers, the bins overflow, and everyone parks on the pavement because there's nowhere else to put the car.
The air's filthy, with nitrogen dioxide at 1.8 times the typical town's, and dust turned up in 8 of the 12 serious pollution incidents round here since 2016. The food doesn't help: the share of places scoring 0 to 2 for hygiene is 3.5 times the typical town's. There are 3 public toilets for the whole town, which after one of those takeaways is cutting it fine.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Smethwick's 96 for food hygiene means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Food hygiene96/1008.5% rated 0 to 2, of the 293 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution95/10014.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 8.0 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping94/10035.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Sandwell council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions76/1003.2 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain60/100133 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson56/1007.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires27/1004.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Broadband20/1004.5% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 3.8% across the Sandwell council area
- Anti-social behaviour20/1006.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills17/10032.6 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 10 | Rushall and Shelfield | 73 |
| 11 | Oldbury | 72 |
| 12 | Tipton | 72 |
| 13 | Darlaston | 71 |
| 14 | Smethwick | 70 |
| 15 | Bilston | 68 |
| 16 | Pelsall | 65 |
| 17 | Wolverhampton | 58 |
| 18 | Coventry | 57 |
Smethwick by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 93.7 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 23% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 11 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 2.0 per 10,000 people, 1.8x the typical town's 1.1
- 12 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 17 pubs, 48 hairdressers, 6 bookmakers, 4 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 12.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (6 of 50) Worse: 3x the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 About the same: 3.5 per 100,000 people, about the same as the typical town's 3.4
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.5 per 10,000 people, 69% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open; 2 closed for good since 2010 Worse: 0.5 per 10,000 people, 29% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
- 3 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 1.35am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 20% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 22.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 44% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,477 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Sandwell council
Have a crap-off
Smethwick against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.