Crap Towns / Isle of Wight / Ryde
Ryde
37/100Crap Score
621st crappest of 984 towns, and 3rd in the Isle of Wight. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Mind the rats on Union Street
Long pier, hovercraft, nice beach. The ferry back costs more than your holiday.
Ryde is where you land on the Isle of Wight, off a long pier or the hovercraft, and the ferry fare to get there is a scandal, when it isn't cancelled. Then you walk up Union Street, which is steep. The pavements are bin bags and rats, it gets rowdy late on, and the cockerels round Pelhurst Road wake everyone up. Lovely beach.
Barclays, HSBC, Lloyds and NatWest have all shut a branch, nearly five times the typical town's rate, and the vape shops have moved in at 5.7 times the typical town's per head. Then the council wants £2,626 for a Band D. That's the ferry and the council tax paid, and you're still on the Isle of Wight.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Ryde's 73 for food hygiene means it's crapper than 73% of towns.
- Food hygiene73/1004.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 176 food businesses with a rating
- Serious road collisions67/1002.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson59/1007.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires55/1006.0 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Broadband48/1005.4% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 13.0% across the Isle of Wight council area
- Sewage spills34/100124 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2024 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour30/10011.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain26/100119 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Air pollution23/1006.4 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping20/1006.4 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Isle of Wight council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Newport | 65 |
| 2 | Sandown | 65 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.3 | Ryde | 37 |
| 4 | Cowes | 20 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Ryde by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 88.2 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 16% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 427 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 177 per 10,000 people, 52.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 3 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
- 1 of 2 bathing waters here or within 2 km rated Excellent in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 18 pubs, 19 hairdressers, 11 charity shops, 3 bookmakers, 4 vape shops, 2 banks on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 21) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 4 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 16.6 per 100,000 people, 4.9x the typical town's 3.4
- 7 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.9 per 10,000 people, 1.8x the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Worse: 0.4 per 10,000 people, 43% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
- 2 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 1.12am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 27.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 1.8x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,858 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 21% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Isle of Wight council
Have a crap-off
Ryde against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.