Crap Towns / Scottish Borders / Peebles
Peebles
29/100Crap Score
Natives are Gutterbluids. Incomers are Stooriefits, forever.
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 29. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Peebles. Lovely, apart from the Tweed.
Tweed jackets, mountain bikes and a sewage problem nobody brings up at Beltane.
Peebles is the posh bit of the Borders, all tweed jackets, mountain bikes off Glentress and charity shops posh enough to sell a Barbour. The natives are Gutterbluids. Anyone born elsewhere is a Stooriefit for life, however long they've been there. Crime runs at about half the typical Scottish town's.
The locals get worked up about lurid vape shop signs on the High Street. There's worse shite in Peebles than a shopfront: the storm overflows on the Tweed spill for six and a half times the typical town's hours, and the salmon fishermen are standing in it. The sun manages 1,206 hours a year, so the Jewel of the Borders spends most of its time grey and damp.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Peebles's 92 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 92% of towns.
- Sewage spills92/1001,778 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Rain84/100161 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Broadband79/1008.4% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 24.3% across the Scottish Borders council area
- Food hygiene53/1005.6% told to improve, of the 71 food businesses inspected
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Criminal damage and arson23/1005.2 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Anti-social behaviour14/1003.7 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Serious road collisions13/1000.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Deliberate fires12/1007.0 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Air pollution0/1001.9 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Galashiels | 73 |
| 2 | Hawick | 57 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.– | Peebles | 29 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Peebles by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 26.3 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Better: 52% lower than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 34 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 37.3 per 10,000 people, 6.7x the typical Scottish town's 5.6
What's left on the high street
- 5 pubs, 9 hairdressers, 5 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 3 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 11.0 per 100,000 people, 3.2x the typical town's 3.4
- 4 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 4.4 per 10,000 people, 2.8x the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.31pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.3% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 0.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 94% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,206 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 21% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Scottish Borders council
- £1,619 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £34 less than the Scottish average
- 48% of Scottish Borders council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 33% higher than Scotland's 36%
- 37 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld Better: 31.7 per 100,000 residents, 9% lower than Scotland's 34.7
- 97.2% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) Better: 5% higher than Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Peebles against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.