Crap Towns / Scottish Borders / Hawick
Hawick
57/100Crap Score
Locals are Teries.
427th crappest of 984 towns. It's the less crap of the two ranked towns in the Scottish Borders. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Hawick. Check the takeaway.
Knitwear town with a Common Riding, a flag they've been bragging about since 1514, and a takeaway problem.
Hawick's knitwear went on the backs of golfers all over the world. The mills went quiet one by one. What's left is the Common Riding, fierce pride and a flag the Teries pinched in 1514 that still comes up at every opportunity.
The Teries and Gala have been calling each other's town dirty for generations. More than half of Hawick's takeaways got told to improve, nearly six times the typical Scottish town's share, so Hawick's end of that argument looks fucking weak. The rest of its kitchens come in at nearly three times. The sewage spills are nearly three times the typical town's as well, and the sun shows up for 1,295 hours a year, so there isn't even a nice day to be ill on.
Gala's crapper, mind. Hawick will want that written down.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Hawick's 93 for food hygiene means it's crapper than 93% of towns.
- Food hygiene93/10015.0% told to improve, of the 100 food businesses inspected
- Sewage spills78/100803 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Broadband76/1007.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 24.3% across the Scottish Borders council area
- Rain75/100151 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Anti-social behaviour74/10011.4 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Criminal damage and arson56/1007.5 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Deliberate fires10/1006.8 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Air pollution2/1003.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions2/1000.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Galashiels | 73 |
| 2 | Hawick | 57 |
Hawick by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 55.6 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) About the same: About the same as the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 2 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.9 per 10,000 people, 66% lower than the typical Scottish town's 5.6
What's left on the high street
- 10 pubs, 18 hairdressers, 5 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 2 vape shops, 1 bank, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 53.9% of takeaways inspected told to improve (7 of 13) Worse: 5.9x the typical Scottish town's 9.1%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 18.6 per 100,000 people, 5.5x the typical town's 3.4
- 6 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 5.6 per 10,000 people, 3.5x the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.26pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 3.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 79% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,295 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 15% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Scottish Borders council
- £1,619 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £34 less than the Scottish average
- 48% of Scottish Borders council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 33% higher than Scotland's 36%
- 37 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld Better: 31.7 per 100,000 residents, 9% lower than Scotland's 34.7
- 97.2% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) Better: 5% higher than Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Hawick against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.