Crap Towns / Devon / Ottery St Mary
Ottery St Mary
3/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 3. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Ottery sets itself on fire.
Every November the locals run down packed streets with flaming tar barrels. Then nothing.
Ottery St Mary is a pretty Devon town where nothing happens all year, then everyone legs it round the streets with burning tar barrels on their backs. How that gets past health and safety, nobody knows. The rest of the time it's narrow roads and full car parks. Crime's under half the typical town's and hardly anything gets set on fire the rest of the year. They're saving it for November.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Ottery St Mary's 91 for broadband means it's crapper than 91% of towns.
- Broadband91/10018.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 24.8% across the East Devon council area
- Food hygiene56/1003.7% rated 0 to 2, of the 27 food businesses with a rating
- Rain54/100130 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills48/100254 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson15/1004.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires13/1002.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Serious road collisions11/1001.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution6/1003.4 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour1/1005.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping1/1002.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, East Devon council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 10 | Dawlish | 31 |
| 11 | Tavistock | 27 |
| 12 | Kingsteignton | 26 |
| 13 | Teignmouth | 24 |
| 14 | Brixham | 23 |
| 15 | Ivybridge | 18 |
| 16 | Exmouth | 12 |
| 17 | Sidmouth | 5 |
| – | Ottery St Mary | 3 |
Ottery St Mary by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 36.1 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 53% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 2 reports of abandoned vehicles on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 3.3 per 10,000 people, 3.7x the typical town's 0.9
- 3 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 4 pubs, 1 hairdresser on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 5.0 per 10,000 people, 3.1x the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.07pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 2.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 4.2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 33.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2.2x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,576 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
East Devon council
Have a crap-off
Ottery St Mary against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.