Crap Towns / Devon / Northam

Welcome to

Northam

We put the pebbles back. Every year.
Twinned with a pebble that keeps getting moved

17/100Crap Score

People from here are Potwallopers.

Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 17. Higher scores are crapper.

How the score works

Have your say

Crap Town of the Year 2026/27

See the race

The public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.

Letters from the locals

Got something to say about Northam? Write in.

Potwalloping. It's a real word.

In Northam they put the pebbles back after the sea moves them. They call it potwalloping. Honest.

Northam has the Burrows, a pebble ridge, golf, and sheep and horses wandering about. Once a year locals put the pebbles back on the ridge after the sea's knocked them off. They call it potwalloping. Crime's next to nothing and nobody fly-tips. The moans are the speed camera on Heywood Road and holiday lets taking the houses. Rough life.

There are over five times the typical town's swimming pools per head, and Westward Ho! came out Excellent for bathing, so you can swim wherever you like. The one blot is somebody setting fires, more often than the typical town gets.

What the score is made of

Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.

Northam's 93 for broadband means it's crapper than 93% of towns.

  • Broadband93/10013.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 40.0% across the Torridge council area
  • Rain79/100154 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
  • Sewage spills73/100679 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
  • Deliberate fires66/1008.7 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
  • Food hygiene59/1004.6% rated 0 to 2, of the 22 food businesses with a rating
  • Serious road collisions26/1001.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
  • Criminal damage and arson4/1003.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
  • Fly-tipping4/1003.3 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Torridge council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
  • Air pollution2/1002.9 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.6 of fine particles, 2024 average
  • Anti-social behaviour2/1005.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
Your patch: DevonTowns in the same county. Top of the table is crappest.
PosTownNationalScore
10Dawlish675th31
11Tavistock718th27
12Kingsteignton731st26
13Teignmouth749th24
14Brixham754th23
15Ivybridge803rd18
–Northam–17
16Exmouth864th12
17Sidmouth933rd5

Northam by numbers

Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.

Crime, muck and dodgy water

What's left on the high street

Getting about, getting online, getting rained on

Torridge council

Have a crap-off

Northam against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.

NorthamCrap Score 17
v
BidefordCrap Score 42

Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.