Crap Towns / East Renfrewshire / Neilston
Neilston
27/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 27. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Neilston. Bring a brolly. And a spare.
An old mill village under the Pad, with a community wind farm that never runs short of weather.
Neilston is an old cotton village under the Pad, the hill everybody walks up once. It rains on 189 days a year and over twice the typical town's rainfall comes down, so the community wind farm's never short of weather. There are 2 pubs, and new houses creeping up the fields.
The storm overflows nearby spilled at more than seven times the typical town's rate, and potholes get reported at more than eight times the typical Scottish town's rate. Folk here photograph every pothole on the way to the shops.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Neilston's 99 for rain means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Rain99/100189 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills94/1002,088 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Deliberate fires55/10023.7 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Serious road collisions39/1001.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Food hygiene25/1000.0% told to improve, of the 20 food businesses inspected
- Broadband13/1002.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 4.7% across the East Renfrewshire council area
- Criminal damage and arson10/1004.0 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Anti-social behaviour9/1003.4 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Air pollution4/1004.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Barrhead | 55 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.2 | Giffnock | 33 |
| – | Neilston | 27 |
| 3 | Newton Mearns | 21 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Neilston by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 23.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Better: 57% lower than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 26 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 47.7 per 10,000 people, 8.5x the typical Scottish town's 5.6
What's left on the high street
- 2 pubs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 5.5 per 10,000 people, 3.4x the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.03pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.5% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 0.5%
- 17.7% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Worse: 14% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,341 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 12% lower than the typical town's 1,532
East Renfrewshire council
- £1,620 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £33 less than the Scottish average
- 36% of East Renfrewshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 36%
- 32 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld About the same: 33.0 per 100,000 residents, about the same as Scotland's 34.7
- 95.3% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Neilston against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.