Crap Towns / East Renfrewshire / Giffnock
Giffnock
33/100Crap Score
663rd crappest of 984 towns, and 2nd in East Renfrewshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Giffnock. Quiet, and likes it that way.
Sandstone villas, big hedges and 1 pub, so the evenings are exactly as exciting as you'd expect.
Giffnock is big villas behind big hedges, and it went into mourning when a Lidl opened. The evenings are spent indoors. The crime's 49% lower than in the typical Scottish town, though it's been creeping up, which has been the talk of the hedges.
Most people here live more than 400 metres from a park, because they've got their own. The serious crashes run at nearly half as many again as the typical Scottish town's, which is what you get when everybody drives the school run.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Giffnock's 95 for rain means it's crapper than 95% of towns.
- Rain95/100173 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Serious road collisions82/1002.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills77/100
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Air pollution28/1008.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.0 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Broadband17/1003.5% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 4.7% across the East Renfrewshire council area
- Deliberate fires15/1008.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour13/1003.7 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Food hygiene12/1001.3% told to improve, of the 75 food businesses inspected
- Criminal damage and arson7/1003.8 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Barrhead | 55 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.2 | Giffnock | 33 |
| 3 | Newton Mearns | 21 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Giffnock by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 27.9 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Better: 49% lower than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 27 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 22.6 per 10,000 people, 4x the typical Scottish town's 5.6
What's left on the high street
- 1 pub, 6 hairdressers, 1 charity shop, 3 banks on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways inspected told to improve (0 of 18) Better: Against the typical Scottish town's 9.1%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 8.4 per 100,000 people, 2.5x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.8 per 10,000 people, 50% lower than the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.33am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 20% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 58.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 3.8x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,343 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 12% lower than the typical town's 1,532
East Renfrewshire council
- £1,620 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £33 less than the Scottish average
- 36% of East Renfrewshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 36%
- 32 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld About the same: 33.0 per 100,000 residents, about the same as Scotland's 34.7
- 95.3% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Giffnock against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.