Crap Towns / Mid Glamorgan / Merthyr Tydfil
Merthyr Tydfil
69/100Crap Score
301st crappest of 984 towns, and 3rd in Mid Glamorgan. Higher scores are crapper.
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Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
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Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Merthyr. Murky Dreadful.
Merthyr made the iron that built the world. Now it can't get an escalator fixed.
Merthyr was the iron capital of the world, and now the shopping centre can't keep an escalator working. The retail parks have nicked the trade, leaving empty shops and concrete precincts. Fly-tippers have the hillsides and some knobhead's always smashing something.
It chucks it down on 173 days a year and gets 1,337 hours of sunshine, so the concrete's always wet and never warm. Shoplifting sits at over twice the typical town's rate, and the council charges £2,594 for a Band D home, well above the Welsh average. The old mine at Ffos-y-fran never got put back. They call it Murky Dreadful.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Merthyr Tydfil's 94 for rain means it's crapper than 94% of towns.
- Rain94/100173 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping85/10021.3 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Merthyr Tydfil council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson84/10010.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband81/10011.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 20.9% across the Merthyr Tydfil council area
- Sewage spills72/100658 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour67/10017.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires50/100
- Food hygiene46/1002.3% rated 0 to 2, of the 303 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution10/1005.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.0 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions5/1001.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Porth | 76 |
| 2 | Rhondda | 71 |
| 3 | Merthyr Tydfil | 69 |
| 4 | Aberdare | 68 |
| 5 | Pontypridd | 57 |
| 6 | Maesteg | 53 |
| 7 | Tonypandy | 52 |
| 8 | Mountain Ash | 49 |
| 9 | Tonyrefail | 44 |
Merthyr Tydfil by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 110 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 44% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 21 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 5.3 per 10,000 people, 4.8x the typical town's 1.1
What's left on the high street
- 27 pubs, 4 hairdressers, 2 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 2 vape shops, 4 banks, 5 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 50) Better: 50% lower than the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 5.1 per 100,000 people, 1.5x the typical town's 3.4
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.8 per 10,000 people, 50% lower than the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.22pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.5% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 0.5%
- 8.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 48% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,337 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 13% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Merthyr Tydfil council
Have a crap-off
Merthyr Tydfil against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.