Crap Towns / North Yorkshire / Malton
Malton
70/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 70. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Check the hygiene sticker.
Yorkshire's Food Capital, it says. The food hygiene ratings would like a word.
Malton calls itself Yorkshire's Food Capital, puts on food festivals and fills the centre with markets. 6.3% of its food places score 0 to 2, over two and a half times the typical town's share, which takes some nerve. The traffic jams at Butcher Corner, the level crossing and the bridge. And the station's in Norton.
The storm overflows nearby go off for about eighteen times the typical town's hours, and it all goes in the Derwent. Barclays and Halifax have both gone. There's 13 pubs, about four times the typical town's per head, no public park on the map and no swimming pool.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Malton's 99 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Sewage spills99/1004,949 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Food hygiene79/1006.3% rated 0 to 2, of the 64 food businesses with a rating
- Anti-social behaviour75/10019.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions71/1003.3 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Deliberate fires67/1009.0 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Broadband66/1007.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 17.4% across the North Yorkshire council area
- Rain49/100127 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson28/1005.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping12/1005.0 incidents per 1,000 people a year, North Yorkshire council area, 2023-24 to 2024-25
- Air pollution12/1004.9 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 5 | Guisborough | 78 |
| 6 | Skipton | 74 |
| 7 | Redcar | 71 |
| 8 | Thornaby-on-Tees | 71 |
| – | Malton | 70 |
| 9 | Whitby | 64 |
| 10 | Northallerton | 56 |
| 11 | Selby | 51 |
| 12 | Huntington | 46 |
Malton by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 60.8 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 20% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 4 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 6.3 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2020
What's left on the high street
- 13 pubs, 5 hairdressers, 7 charity shops, 4 banks on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 31.6 per 100,000 people, 9.3x the typical town's 3.4
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 4.7 per 10,000 people, 2.9x the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.05am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.8x the typical town's 0.5%
- 39.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Worse: 2.5x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,519 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
North Yorkshire council
- £2,544 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £152 more than the English average
- 18% of North Yorkshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 13% higher than England's 16%
- 41 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Malton against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.