Crap Towns / Bedfordshire / Kempston
Kempston
27/100Crap Score
Known as Kemps.
721st crappest of 984 towns, and 5th in Bedfordshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Kempston? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Basically Bedford. Don't tell them.
Used to brag it was the biggest village in England. Now it's a concrete precinct next to Bedford.
Kempston used to brag it was the biggest village in England. Now it's a town stuck to Bedford with a concrete precinct and a Sainsbury's for a town centre. There's nothing to do unless you go into Bedford, which tells you everything.
Getting into Bedford's the hard bit. Evening buses run at half the typical town's rate per head and Sunday's worse. There's 1 public toilet for the whole town, so don't stray far from Sainsbury's. They're building even more houses. Nobody knows why.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Kempston's 70 for deliberate fires means it's crapper than 70% of towns.
- Deliberate fires70/1009.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Air pollution68/1008.9 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Criminal damage and arson63/1008.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping44/10010.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Bedford council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Broadband42/1003.3% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 14.6% across the Bedford council area
- Food hygiene40/1001.9% rated 0 to 2, of the 105 food businesses with a rating
- Anti-social behaviour39/10013.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions26/1001.8 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills20/100
- Rain5/100111 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Luton | 66 |
| 2 | Bedford | 61 |
| 3 | Houghton Regis | 60 |
| 4 | Dunstable | 40 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.5 | Kempston | 27 |
| 6 | Sandy | 17 |
| 7 | Leighton Buzzard | 13 |
| 8 | Stotfold | 10 |
| 9 | Flitwick | 4 |
| 10 | Biggleswade | 2 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Kempston by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 84.3 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 11% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 4 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.8 per 10,000 people, 47% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 9 pubs, 12 hairdressers, 4 charity shops, 3 bookmakers, 3 banks on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 21) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.4 per 10,000 people, 75% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Worse: 0.4 per 10,000 people, 43% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.37pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 20% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 6.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,564 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Bedford council
Have a crap-off
Kempston against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.