Crap Towns / Bedfordshire / Houghton Regis
Houghton Regis
60/100Crap Score
391st crappest of 984 towns, and 3rd in Bedfordshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
A village that grew. Nothing else did.
It grew from a village into a town. Nobody built the bits a town needs.
Houghton Regis grew from a village into a town with a lot of new houses and not much else. The town centre's mostly empty and the new estates got houses before they got footpaths. Nobody agrees how to say Houghton, but everyone agrees on Horrible Regis.
There are play spaces everywhere, 2.5 times the typical town per head, and the local firebugs are still setting fire to the bins. Deliberate fires run at 2.6 times the typical town's rate, mostly bins and rubbish, and the yobs come in at nearly twice the typical town.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Houghton Regis's 88 for anti-social behaviour means it's crapper than 88% of towns.
- Anti-social behaviour88/10026.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires83/10015.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Air pollution73/1009.1 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene73/1005.3% rated 0 to 2, of the 57 food businesses with a rating
- Criminal damage and arson62/1007.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions47/1002.3 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Broadband41/1003.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 13.3% across the Central Bedfordshire council area
- Fly-tipping40/1009.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Central Bedfordshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Rain27/100120 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills6/1001.7 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Luton | 66 |
| 2 | Bedford | 61 |
| 3 | Houghton Regis | 60 |
| 4 | Dunstable | 40 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.5 | Kempston | 27 |
| 6 | Sandy | 17 |
| 7 | Leighton Buzzard | 13 |
| 8 | Stotfold | 10 |
| 9 | Flitwick | 4 |
| 10 | Biggleswade | 2 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Houghton Regis by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 82.5 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 8% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 1,036 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 550 per 10,000 people, 500x the typical town's 1.1
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2024
What's left on the high street
- 6 pubs, 5 hairdressers, 2 bookmakers, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.1 per 10,000 people, 31% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open; 1 closed for good since 2010 Better: 1.1 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.36am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 3.6% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 77% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,545 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Central Bedfordshire council
- £2,516 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £124 more than the English average
- 13% of Central Bedfordshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 19% lower than England's 16%
- 17 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Houghton Regis against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.