Crap Towns / West Yorkshire / Heckmondwike
Heckmondwike
95/100Crap Score
50th crappest of 984 towns, and 6th in West Yorkshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Heckmondwike. Bloody hell.
It made blankets. Now it makes empty shops, litter and a lot of traffic.
Heckmondwike used to make blankets for Yorkshire and now it can't keep a market going. The shops are empty, the buildings are falling apart and the litter blows round the clock in Market Place. There's a public bog to cry in, if you can find it.
The traffic puts the nitrogen dioxide at half as much again as the typical town's, and serious crashes run well over it too. Things get set on fire at nearly four times the typical town's rate, and the storm overflows nearby spill for over three times as long. Everyone's within 400 metres of a park, mind. Somewhere to sit and look at the empty shops.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Heckmondwike's 89 for deliberate fires means it's crapper than 89% of towns.
- Deliberate fires89/10021.0 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Air pollution88/10012.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping82/10019.7 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Kirklees council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions82/1003.6 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills82/100936 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour80/10014.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson78/1009.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene61/1003.4% rated 0 to 2, of the 88 food businesses with a rating
- Rain41/100124 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Broadband5/1001.1% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 4.8% across the Kirklees council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 2 | Bradford | 99 |
| 3 | Dewsbury | 98 |
| 4 | Shipley | 97 |
| 5 | Halifax | 97 |
| 6 | Heckmondwike | 95 |
| 7 | Huddersfield | 95 |
| 8 | Elland | 94 |
| 9 | Batley | 94 |
| 10 | Wakefield | 93 |
Heckmondwike by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 115 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 1.5x the typical town's 76.2
- 2 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 1.5 per 10,000 people, 36% higher than the typical town's 1.1
- 4 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2023
What's left on the high street
- 8 pubs, 7 hairdressers, 1 charity shop, 2 bookmakers on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 4.2% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 24) Worse: 5% higher than the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.7 per 10,000 people, 56% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.20am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- Under 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: Far lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 0.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: Against the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,367 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 11% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Kirklees council
- £2,441 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £49 more than the English average
- 22% of Kirklees council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 38% higher than England's 16%
- 22 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Heckmondwike against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.