Crap Towns / Highland / Fort William
Fort William
77/100Crap Score
Known as the Fort.
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 77. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Fort William. It's raining.
The foot of Ben Nevis and the end of the West Highland Way, and it pisses down more days than it doesn't.
Fort William sits under the biggest mountain in Britain and calls itself the Outdoor Capital of the UK, which is handy, because indoors there's not a lot going on. It rains on 212 days a year, 2,066 mm of it, getting on for three times the typical town's, and the sun shows up for 961 hours. Walkers finish the West Highland Way here, soaked to the skin, and look about for what they walked all that way for.
They put a dual carriageway between the town and the loch, so the best view in the place is across the traffic. The sewage is worse. The overflows round here spilled for 5,802 hours per 10,000 people in 2023, 21 times the typical town's, as if there wasn't enough water about already.
There are public loos everywhere, nearly eleven times the typical town's rate, and the last bus goes at 10.51pm. Even the football team got called the worst in Britain once. Nobody in the Fort argued.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Fort William's 100 for rain means it's crapper than 100% of towns.
- Rain100/100212 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills99/1005,802 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023
- Broadband99/10054.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 36.7% across the Highland council area
- Serious road collisions77/1002.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Food hygiene55/1005.7% told to improve, of the 88 food businesses inspected
- Criminal damage and arson55/1007.4 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Anti-social behaviour47/1007.8 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Deliberate fires14/1007.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Air pollution0/1001.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 3.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| – | Fort William | 77 |
| 1 | Inverness | 66 |
Fort William by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 47.3 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Better: 13% lower than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 8 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 13.9 per 10,000 people, 2.5x the typical Scottish town's 5.6
What's left on the high street
- 9 pubs, 3 hairdressers, 3 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 1 vape shop, 2 banks on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 17.4 per 100,000 people, 5.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 10 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 17.4 per 10,000 people, 10.9x the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 10.51pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 20% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 9.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 961 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 37% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Highland council
- £1,634 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £19 less than the Scottish average
- 43% of Highland council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 19% higher than Scotland's 36%
- 99 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld Worse: 42.1 per 100,000 residents, 21% higher than Scotland's 34.7
- 95.3% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Fort William against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.