Crap Towns / Highland / Inverness
Inverness
66/100Crap Score
Known as Inversneckie, or the Sneck.
339th crappest of 984 towns. It's the crappest town in the table for the Highlands because it's the only one big enough to be in it. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Inverness? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Inversneckie. A city since 2000.
Got city status and kept the small-town habits. The tourists only stop on the way to Loch Ness.
Inverness got city status in 2000 and has been trying to act like one ever since. The High Street sells tartan tat to coach parties on their way to look for a monster, and the locals drive out to the retail parks. The castle spent years shut while they turned it into a visitor experience. It still gets stick for shutting early, city or no city. Lovely view of the river, mind.
For a wee Highland city it's got a lot going on, and not the good kind. Crime runs at 1.6 times the typical Scottish town's rate, and drug crime's way above it too. The kitchens are worse. The inspectors told one kitchen in seven to clean up its act, two and a half times the typical Scottish town's share, and nearly a third of the takeaways.
The air's as clean as you'll get anywhere and the sun shines for 1,233 hours a year, so there's plenty of clean grey sky to look at. Dingwall's up the road. Inverness only remembers it on derby day.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Inverness's 95 for food hygiene means it's crapper than 95% of towns.
- Food hygiene95/10014.0% told to improve, of the 499 food businesses inspected
- Broadband87/1007.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 36.7% across the Highland council area
- Anti-social behaviour76/10011.5 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Criminal damage and arson75/1009.1 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Rain73/100149 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Serious road collisions53/1001.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Deliberate fires19/1009.8 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Sewage spills15/10024.2 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Air pollution1/1003.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Inverness | 66 |
Inverness by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 88.7 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Worse: 1.6x the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 21 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 4.4 per 10,000 people, 21% lower than the typical Scottish town's 5.6
What's left on the high street
- 33 pubs, 30 hairdressers, 14 charity shops, 3 bookmakers, 1 vape shop, 10 banks on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 31.3% of takeaways inspected told to improve (10 of 32) Worse: 3.4x the typical Scottish town's 9.1%
- 4 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 8.3 per 100,000 people, 2.4x the typical town's 3.4
- 15 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.1 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.47am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.8% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 1.6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 11.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 29% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,233 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 20% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Highland council
- £1,634 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £19 less than the Scottish average
- 43% of Highland council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 19% higher than Scotland's 36%
- 99 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld Worse: 42.1 per 100,000 residents, 21% higher than Scotland's 34.7
- 95.3% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Inverness against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.