Crap Towns / City of Edinburgh / Edinburgh
Edinburgh
67/100Crap Score
Known as Auld Reekie. Glasgow has other names for it.
330th crappest of 984 towns. It's the crappest of the two ranked towns in Edinburgh, which isn't hard. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Edinburgh? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Lovely castle. Mind your bike.
A castle on a volcano, a festival every August, and a tram line that took years longer and cost a fortune.
Edinburgh is gorgeous and knows it, all castle, Royal Mile and New Town, and in Morningside you'll have had your tea before you've got your coat off. Then August comes, the Fringe lands and the locals can't get down their own street for students handing out flyers. The rest of the year the Royal Mile is tartan tat and the flats round it are holiday lets.
They dug the city up for years to build the trams, and the bill could have bought a small country. Food businesses get told to improve at two and a half times the typical Scottish town's rate, which for a city this far up itself is going some. Serious crashes come in at 1.6 times the typical Scottish town's. And if you've brought a bike, say goodbye to it: bike theft runs at more than ten times the typical Scottish town's.
Glasgow thinks Edinburgh's stuck up. Edinburgh thinks about Glasgow as little as it can manage.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Edinburgh's 96 for food hygiene means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Food hygiene96/10013.3% told to improve, of the 4,203 food businesses inspected
- Serious road collisions94/1002.8 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain57/100132 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Anti-social behaviour49/1007.9 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Criminal damage and arson48/1007.0 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Deliberate fires46/10018.8 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Broadband43/1007.1% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 7.3% across the City of Edinburgh council area
- Air pollution37/1009.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Sewage spills16/10025.4 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Edinburgh | 67 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.2 | South Queensferry | 21 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Edinburgh by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 70.3 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Worse: 29% higher than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 595 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 12.1 per 10,000 people, 2.2x the typical Scottish town's 5.6
- 0 of 4 bathing waters here or within 2 km rated Excellent in 2025; 1 rated Poor
What's left on the high street
- 315 pubs, 491 hairdressers, 81 charity shops, 48 bookmakers, 27 vape shops, 30 banks, 37 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 14.8% of takeaways inspected told to improve (89 of 602) Worse: 1.6x the typical Scottish town's 9.1%
- 14 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Better: 2.8 per 100,000 people, 18% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 121 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.5 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.45am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.5% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 3x the typical town's 0.5%
- 11.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 29% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,413 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 8% lower than the typical town's 1,532
City of Edinburgh council
- £1,626 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £27 less than the Scottish average
- 33% of City of Edinburgh council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 8% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 176 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, 1 upheld About the same: 34.2 per 100,000 residents, about the same as Scotland's 34.7
- 92.8% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Edinburgh against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.