Crap Towns / Stirling / Stirling

Welcome to

Stirling

Gateway to the Highlands. Most folk keep driving.
Twinned with the Wallace Monument's gift shop

71/100Crap Score

Known as the Gateway to the Highlands.

284th crappest of 984 towns. It's the crappest town in the table for Stirling because it's the only one big enough to be in it. Higher scores are crapper.

How the score works

Have your say

Crap Town of the Year 2026/27

See the race

The public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.

Letters from the locals

Got something to say about Stirling? Write in.

Stirling. The castle's the good bit.

A castle on a rock, a monument on a hill and a city centre where the shops gave up.

Stirling has a castle on a crag, the Wallace Monument on the hill across the way, and coach parties who see both and leave. Going up the town, as locals still call it, means the Thistles centre, empty units, charity shops and a fair bit of grot. It got made a city in 2002 and nobody's told the High Street.

It's dark, mind. The sun manages 1,312 hours a year. Nearly twice the typical Scottish town's share of takeaways were told to improve, bikes get nicked at several times the typical Scottish town's rate, and the council's roads are worse than Scotland's on every class going. Not that you'd want to cycle on them anyway.

Stirlingers call it the Gateway to the Highlands. That's because it's where you go through to get somewhere else.

What the score is made of

Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.

Stirling's 85 for food hygiene means it's crapper than 85% of towns.

  • Food hygiene85/10010.6% told to improve, of the 320 food businesses inspected
  • Rain85/100162 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
  • Broadband70/1005.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 22.8% across the Stirling council area
  • Anti-social behaviour69/10010.8 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
  • Sewage spills60/100401 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
  • Serious road collisions57/1001.8 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
  • Criminal damage and arson57/1007.6 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
  • Fly-tipping50/100
  • Deliberate fires26/10011.0 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
  • Air pollution7/1005.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
Your patch: StirlingTowns in the same county. Top of the table is crappest.
PosTownNationalScore
1Stirling284th71

Stirling by numbers

Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.

Crime, muck and dodgy water

What's left on the high street

Getting about, getting online, getting rained on

Stirling council

Have a crap-off

Stirling against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.

StirlingCrap Score 71
v
BannockburnCrap Score 44

Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.