Crap Towns / Stirling / Bannockburn
Bannockburn
44/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 44. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Bannockburn? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Bannockburn. You're late for the battle.
The battlefield's got a smart visitor centre. The village has litter, overgrown paths and a council that takes its time.
Tell anyone you're off to Bannockburn and they'll say you're about seven hundred years late. The battlefield has a smart visitor centre. The village round it is Stirling's overspill, with litter on the paths, overgrown verges and a council that gets round to it eventually.
Nearly a fifth of the kitchens were told to improve, more than three times the typical Scottish town's share, so your dinner's a gamble. The bins are safe, though. Nobody can be bothered to torch them.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Bannockburn's 91 for rain means it's crapper than 91% of towns.
- Rain91/100169 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene82/10017.9% told to improve, of the 28 food businesses inspected
- Anti-social behaviour66/10010.1 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Broadband55/1002.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 22.8% across the Stirling council area
- Criminal damage and arson50/1007.0 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Serious road collisions39/1001.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills10/1007.6 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Air pollution6/1005.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires3/1003.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Stirling | 71 |
| – | Bannockburn | 44 |
Bannockburn by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 52.3 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) About the same: About the same as the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 5 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 7.6 per 10,000 people, 36% higher than the typical Scottish town's 5.6
What's left on the high street
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.08am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: Against the typical town's 0.5%
- 4.1% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 74% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,325 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 14% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Stirling council
- £1,753 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £100 more than the Scottish average
- 48% of Stirling council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 33% higher than Scotland's 36%
- 35 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld Worse: 37.8 per 100,000 residents, 9% higher than Scotland's 34.7
- 86.4% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) Worse: 6% lower than Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Bannockburn against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.