Snoring-by-the-Sea. Fair.

Shoreham-by-Sea has people living on old military boats and barges, and a beach that used to be Bungalow Town, where they made silent films once. Now the most dramatic thing in town is the High Street, which is permanently gridlocked. Nobody can park near the station and the side streets are rat runs.

Serious crashes run at 1.6 times the typical town's rate, so the traffic isn't just slow. There's no public pool, nearly a third of people live more than 400 metres from a park, and it gets 1,804 hours of sunshine a year to sit in the queue in. Plenty of vape shops, though, if you're stuck.

The editor, sat on the High Street for ages