Crap Towns / Clackmannanshire / Sauchie
Sauchie
51/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 51. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Sauchie. Even the ghost got bored.
An old pit village grown into a town next to Alloa, with a haunted house story and a tower nobody's finished fixing.
Sauchie's claim to fame is a poltergeist in 1960 that had the papers up from London. Since then the coal's gone, Main Street's gone tired, and the old Sauchie Tower has been half restored for about as long as anyone can remember. It's Alloa's back garden with 2 pubs.
The vandals run more than a third over the typical Scottish town's rate, and crime's gone up a good bit in the last couple of years. The sun manages 1,281 hours a year. You'd be throwing the furniture about too.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Sauchie's 84 for rain means it's crapper than 84% of towns.
- Rain84/100161 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson80/1009.8 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Food hygiene69/1008.6% told to improve, of the 35 food businesses inspected
- Anti-social behaviour64/1009.8 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Sewage spills61/100441 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Broadband50/1005.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 13.8% across the Clackmannanshire council area
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Deliberate fires31/10012.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Air pollution16/1006.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions7/1000.6 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Alloa | 76 |
| – | Sauchie | 51 |
Sauchie by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 56.2 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) About the same: About the same as the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 1 problem reported on FixMyStreet in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.6 per 10,000 people, 92% lower than the typical Scottish town's 20.1
What's left on the high street
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.13pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: Against the typical town's 0.5%
- 12.6% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 19% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,281 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 16% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Clackmannanshire council
- £1,684 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £31 more than the Scottish average
- 37% of Clackmannanshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 36%
- 17 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld Better: 32.8 per 100,000 residents, 5% lower than Scotland's 34.7
- 84.7% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) Worse: 8% lower than Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Sauchie against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.