Crap Towns / Highland / Nairn
Nairn
45/100Crap Score
Known as the Brighton of the North. By Nairn.
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 45. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Nairn. Mind what you eat.
Excellent beaches, a posh golf course and a third of the kitchens told to clean up their act.
Nairn calls itself the Brighton of the North, on account of being dry and sunny. It rains here on more days than in the typical town and the sun shines less, so that's that sorted. The beaches are rated Excellent, mind, and the golf's posh enough that you'll not be getting a round.
The real danger's indoors. A third of the places serving food got a telling-off from the inspectors, more than six times the typical Scottish town's share. There's 1 pub, and vape shops at seven times the typical town's rate, which tells you how the young ones spend their nights. Gigabit broadband reaches 19.2% of premises.
And then there's the bypass. Nairn's been promised one for as long as anyone can remember, and the A96 still goes straight through the middle of it.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Nairn's 100 for broadband means it's crapper than 100% of towns.
- Broadband100/10080.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 36.7% across the Highland council area
- Food hygiene99/10033.7% told to improve, of the 83 food businesses inspected
- Rain62/100135 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Serious road collisions60/1001.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills51/100286 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Criminal damage and arson18/1004.8 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Anti-social behaviour15/1004.7 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Deliberate fires5/1004.7 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Air pollution0/1002.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Inverness | 66 |
| – | Nairn | 45 |
Nairn by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 37.2 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Better: 32% lower than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 2 reports of abandoned vehicles on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 2.1 per 10,000 people, 5.3x the typical Scottish town's 0.4
- 2 of 2 bathing waters here or within 2 km rated Excellent in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 1 pub, 10 hairdressers, 4 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 2 vape shops, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 10.4 per 100,000 people, 3.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.1 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.40pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.8% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 1.6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 20.1% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 30% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,320 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 14% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Highland council
- £1,634 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £19 less than the Scottish average
- 43% of Highland council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 19% higher than Scotland's 36%
- 99 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld Worse: 42.1 per 100,000 residents, 21% higher than Scotland's 34.7
- 95.3% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Nairn against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.