Crap Towns / East Lothian / Musselburgh
Musselburgh
74/100Crap Score
Known as the Honest Toun.
Joint 255th crappest of 984 towns, and the crappest in East Lothian. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Musselburgh. Not Edinburgh, thanks.
The Honest Toun, with a racecourse, the oldest golf links going and a beach the inspectors rated Poor.
Musselburgh has an old rhyme saying it was a burgh when Edinburgh was nothing and it'll still be one when Edinburgh's gone, and it brings it up every chance it gets. It calls itself the Honest Toun. It's got the racecourse, the old golf links and Fisherrow harbour, and a flood wall going up along the Esk that a lot of the town wants stopped.
The Honest Toun has burglary at more than twice the typical Scottish town's rate and criminal damage at 1.5 times, and anti-social behaviour is well up on two years ago. Fisherrow Sands was rated Poor for bathing in 2025, so the mussels the place is named after might want to think about moving. It's the crappest town in East Lothian. Honestly.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Musselburgh's 88 for broadband means it's crapper than 88% of towns.
- Broadband88/10020.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 12.2% across the East Lothian council area
- Criminal damage and arson87/10011.0 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Serious road collisions85/1002.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills65/100493 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Anti-social behaviour62/1009.4 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Deliberate fires56/10023.8 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Rain52/100129 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Food hygiene29/1003.7% told to improve, of the 137 food businesses inspected
- Air pollution17/1006.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Musselburgh | 74 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.2 | Haddington | 27 |
| 3 | Tranent | 20 |
| 4 | Prestonpans | 18 |
| 5 | Dunbar | 13 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Musselburgh by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 65.6 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Worse: 21% higher than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 9 reports of broken street lights on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 4.2 per 10,000 people, 4.7x the typical Scottish town's 0.9
- 0 of 2 bathing waters here or within 2 km rated Excellent in 2025; 1 rated Poor
What's left on the high street
- 10 pubs, 19 hairdressers, 6 charity shops, 4 bookmakers, 1 vape shop, 3 banks, 2 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 15.4% of takeaways inspected told to improve (2 of 13) Worse: 1.7x the typical Scottish town's 9.1%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 4.7 per 100,000 people, 38% higher than the typical town's 3.4
- 4 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.9 per 10,000 people, 19% higher than the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.54am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 20% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 3.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 75% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,461 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
East Lothian council
- £1,698 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £45 more than the Scottish average
- 34% of East Lothian council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 6% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 38 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, 1 upheld About the same: 33.8 per 100,000 residents, about the same as Scotland's 34.7
- 91.0% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Musselburgh against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.