Crap Towns / Angus / Monifieth
Monifieth
4/100Crap Score
Locals call it Moni.
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 4. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Monifieth. It's not Dundee, all right?
A commuter suburb on the Tay that insists it's in Angus, where the worst crime going is a pothole.
Monifieth is where Dundee moves when it's done well, and it would like you to know it's in Angus, whatever the bus says. Crime runs at less than a third of the typical Scottish town's. Anti-social behaviour is under a quarter. Shoplifting and drugs hardly trouble the polis, the beaches are rated Excellent and the golf links get used for Open qualifying.
So what do they moan about? Potholes, which top the list of what gets reported here, and the high school kids making a racket at home time. That's the lot. Smug as you like.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Monifieth's 85 for broadband means it's crapper than 85% of towns.
- Broadband85/1007.4% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 32.7% across the Angus council area
- Rain58/100132 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Food hygiene47/1005.0% told to improve, of the 40 food businesses inspected
- Sewage spills30/10095.9 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Serious road collisions4/1000.6 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution2/1004.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour2/1001.7 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Deliberate fires2/1002.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Criminal damage and arson0/1002.1 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Arbroath | 60 |
| 2 | Montrose | 41 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.3 | Forfar | 37 |
| 4 | Carnoustie | 19 |
| – | Monifieth | 4 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Monifieth by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 16.9 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Better: 69% lower than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 12 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 12.8 per 10,000 people, 2.3x the typical Scottish town's 5.6
- 2 of 2 bathing waters here or within 2 km rated Excellent in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 4 pubs, 4 hairdressers, 1 bookmaker on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.1 per 10,000 people, 31% higher than the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.22am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 28.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 1.8x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,535 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Angus council
- £1,599 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £54 less than the Scottish average
- 33% of Angus council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 8% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 28 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld Better: 24.5 per 100,000 residents, 29% lower than Scotland's 34.7
- 96.0% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Monifieth against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.