Crap Towns / Stirling / Dunblane
Dunblane
17/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 17. Higher scores are crapper.
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Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
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Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Dunblane. Nice, and knows it.
A cathedral, a gold postbox and a high street that still hasn't got over losing the café in M&S.
Dunblane is a cathedral town of commuters on the Allan Water, and very little goes on. Hardly anything gets vandalised and the air's barely got anything in it. The postbox on the High Street is painted gold for the tennis, and the big crisis of recent years was M&S shutting its café.
For all the money about, 28.6% of premises can't get gigabit broadband, and the storm overflows round it spilled for 1,854 hours per 10,000 people a year, getting on for seven times the typical town's. The last bus goes at 8.05pm and on a Sunday they barely run. Nobody's in a hurry to get anywhere.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Dunblane's 97 for broadband means it's crapper than 97% of towns.
- Broadband97/10028.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 22.8% across the Stirling council area
- Sewage spills92/1001,854 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain91/100169 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Food hygiene41/1003.5% told to improve, of the 29 food businesses inspected
- Anti-social behaviour3/1002.5 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Deliberate fires2/1002.3 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Criminal damage and arson1/1002.7 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Air pollution1/1003.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions1/1000.2 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Stirling | 71 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.– | Dunblane | 17 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Dunblane by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 19.5 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Better: 64% lower than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 20 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 22.7 per 10,000 people, 4.1x the typical Scottish town's 5.6
What's left on the high street
- 3 pubs, 4 hairdressers, 1 charity shop on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 11.4 per 100,000 people, 3.4x the typical town's 3.4
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.3 per 10,000 people, 44% higher than the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 8.05pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.3% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 17.1% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 10% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,209 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 21% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Stirling council
- £1,753 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £100 more than the Scottish average
- 48% of Stirling council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 33% higher than Scotland's 36%
- 35 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld Worse: 37.8 per 100,000 residents, 9% higher than Scotland's 34.7
- 86.4% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) Worse: 6% lower than Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Dunblane against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.