Crap Towns / Devon / Dartmouth
Dartmouth
13/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 13. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Lights off till Easter.
Gorgeous estuary, posh boats, and houses that sit empty all winter.
Dartmouth's beautiful and bloody knows it. The Navy trains officers here, the regatta's full of yachts, and most of the houses are second homes that go dark in October. Locals can't afford to live in it. There's no train. It once had a station that never saw one.
For a town that's empty half the year there are over four times the typical town's pubs per head and nearly 11 times its public swimming pools. Somebody's using them in August. The storm overflows spill more than most, and the yachts are sitting in it.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Dartmouth's 97 for broadband means it's crapper than 97% of towns.
- Broadband97/10019.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 41.3% across the South Hams council area
- Sewage spills89/1001,427 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain70/100145 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson41/1006.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping24/1007.0 incidents per 1,000 people a year, South Hams council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Anti-social behaviour21/10010.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene11/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 76 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution4/1003.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.0 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions3/1000.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Deliberate fires3/1000.6 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 10 | Dawlish | 31 |
| 11 | Tavistock | 27 |
| 12 | Kingsteignton | 26 |
| 13 | Teignmouth | 24 |
| 14 | Brixham | 23 |
| 15 | Ivybridge | 18 |
| – | Dartmouth | 13 |
| 16 | Exmouth | 12 |
| 17 | Sidmouth | 5 |
Dartmouth by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 54.6 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 28% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 1 reports of abandoned vehicles on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 1.9 per 10,000 people, 2.1x the typical town's 0.9
- 2 of 2 bathing waters here or within 2 km rated Excellent in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 11 pubs, 10 hairdressers, 2 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 2 banks on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 banking hub opened here
- 4 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 7.6 per 10,000 people, 4.8x the typical town's 1.6
- 4 public swimming pools open Better: 7.6 per 10,000 people, 10.9x the typical English town's 0.7
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.38pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 3.2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 14.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 6% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,682 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 10% higher than the typical town's 1,532
South Hams council
Have a crap-off
Dartmouth against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.