Crap Towns / Moray / Buckie
Buckie
17/100Crap Score
Locals are Blethers, or Tonics.
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 17. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Buckie? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Buckie. Gulls on every roof.
An old fishing port on the Moray coast, full of gulls and quietly fuming about Elgin.
Buckie had a fleet of steam drifters once, and Cluny Harbour still builds and fixes boats, which is more than most of the old fishing towns can say. The shops are thinning out and anything new seems to go to Elgin, which Buckie hasn't forgiven. The gulls have moved into the gaps. They nest on the roofs and wake the whole town at four in the morning.
There are public loos at four times the typical town's rate, and the storm overflows didn't spill a drop from 2023 to 2025, so it's spotless in one way at least. The football is Buckie Thistle against Banff's lot, and that's the only time anyone raises their voice.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Buckie's 87 for broadband means it's crapper than 87% of towns.
- Broadband87/1007.4% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 35.9% across the Moray council area
- Criminal damage and arson69/1008.5 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Rain69/100143 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Food hygiene40/1004.0% told to improve, of the 75 food businesses inspected
- Anti-social behaviour29/1006.6 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Deliberate fires27/10010.7 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Serious road collisions13/1000.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Air pollution0/1002.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.0 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Elgin | 36 |
| – | Buckie | 17 |
Buckie by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 50.5 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Better: 7% lower than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 5 reports of broken street lights on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 5.5 per 10,000 people, 6.1x the typical Scottish town's 0.9
What's left on the high street
- 4 pubs, 4 hairdressers, 3 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 2 banks on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 7.7% of takeaways inspected told to improve (1 of 13) Better: 15% lower than the typical Scottish town's 9.1%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 11.0 per 100,000 people, 3.2x the typical town's 3.4
- 6 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 6.6 per 10,000 people, 4.1x the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.51pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: Against the typical town's 0.5%
- 11.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 26% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,440 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 6% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Moray council
- £1,731 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £78 more than the Scottish average
- 35% of Moray council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 36%
- 37 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld Worse: 39.7 per 100,000 residents, 14% higher than Scotland's 34.7
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Buckie against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.