Crap Towns / Angus / Brechin
Brechin
34/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 34. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Don't you dare call it a town.
A cathedral city the size of a village, with a football pitch that has a hedge along one side.
Brechin has a cathedral, so it's a city, and Brechiners will pull you up if you forget. It's a city about the size of a decent housing estate, with a shut bank, a banking hub and three times the charity shops a place that size usually gets. Glebe Park, where Brechin City play, has a hedge along one side of the pitch. An actual hedge.
Gigabit broadband reaches 66.0% of premises, against 93.8% in the typical town. The last bus out goes at a quarter to twelve, and on a Sunday there are half as many as the typical town gets. Some city.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Brechin's 98 for broadband means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Broadband98/10034.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 32.7% across the Angus council area
- Serious road collisions72/1002.2 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain67/100140 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills52/100299 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Criminal damage and arson26/1005.3 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Anti-social behaviour21/1005.5 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Food hygiene19/1001.8% told to improve, of the 56 food businesses inspected
- Deliberate fires10/1006.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Air pollution0/1003.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Arbroath | 60 |
| 2 | Montrose | 41 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.3 | Forfar | 37 |
| – | Brechin | 34 |
| 4 | Carnoustie | 19 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Brechin by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 40.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Better: 26% lower than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 3 reports of broken street lights on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 4.2 per 10,000 people, 4.7x the typical Scottish town's 0.9
What's left on the high street
- 5 pubs, 6 hairdressers, 3 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 13.9 per 100,000 people, 4.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 4.2 per 10,000 people, 2.6x the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.45pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 8.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 45% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,446 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 6% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Angus council
- £1,599 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £54 less than the Scottish average
- 33% of Angus council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 8% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 28 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld Better: 24.5 per 100,000 residents, 29% lower than Scotland's 34.7
- 96.0% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Brechin against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.