Crap Towns / South Ayrshire / Troon
Troon
14/100Crap Score
851st crappest of 984 towns, and 3rd in South Ayrshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Troon. Everyone's at the hairdresser.
Posh golf, sea views across to Arran and more hairdressers than any town could need.
Troon's got Royal Troon, the Open now and again, big houses and a view across to Arran, and it's very pleased with all of it. Crime is half the typical Scottish town's. For its size it has well over twice the typical town's hairdressers and nearly five times its charity shops. That's an awful lot of town given over to a haircut and somebody else's cardigan. It nicked the Arran ferry off Ardrossan as well.
On the one sunny day of the year, Glasgow gets the train down and drinks the beach dry, and the dog walkers bag up their shite and leave it on the dunes. They've done the disgusting bit and still can't be arsed to find a bin. Troon writes to the paper about it.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Troon's 88 for rain means it's crapper than 88% of towns.
- Rain88/100164 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Broadband58/1004.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 18.6% across the South Ayrshire council area
- Deliberate fires54/10023.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Sewage spills50/100279 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Anti-social behaviour22/1005.6 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Serious road collisions19/1001.2 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Food hygiene7/1000.9% told to improve, of the 112 food businesses inspected
- Criminal damage and arson5/1003.5 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Air pollution2/1003.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Ayr | 59 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.2 | Prestwick | 25 |
| 3 | Troon | 14 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Troon by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 27.1 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Better: 50% lower than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 6 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 3.9 per 10,000 people, 30% lower than the typical Scottish town's 5.6
- 1 of 2 bathing waters here or within 2 km rated Excellent in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 5 pubs, 18 hairdressers, 10 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 1 vape shop, 1 bank, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 7.1% of takeaways inspected told to improve (1 of 14) Better: 22% lower than the typical Scottish town's 9.1%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 6.6 per 100,000 people, 1.9x the typical town's 3.4
- 4 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.6 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.31pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 12.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 23% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,442 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 6% lower than the typical town's 1,532
South Ayrshire council
- £1,695 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £42 more than the Scottish average
- 38% of South Ayrshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 6% higher than Scotland's 36%
- 39 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld About the same: 35.0 per 100,000 residents, about the same as Scotland's 34.7
- 90.8% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Troon against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.