Crap Towns / Devon / Totnes
Totnes
49/100Crap Score
Known as Grotness.
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 49. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Totnes? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Lovely if you like crystals.
Had its own money once. Now it has crystal shops, vape shops and a parking app nobody can work.
Totnes is a steep medieval high street full of eco shops, crystal shops, vape shops and charity shops, with a castle on top. It had its own currency once. The parking is dear, you pay on an app nobody can work, and the leisure centre is falling apart.
There are over nine times the typical town's charity shops per head, so the alternative lifestyle comes second-hand. For all the eco talk, the overflows run for nearly 14 times as long as the typical town's, and Steamer Quay came out Poor for bathing water. The Dart's not feeling the love.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Totnes's 99 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Sewage spills99/1003,771 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Broadband94/10014.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 41.3% across the South Hams council area
- Rain75/100151 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson75/1009.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires72/10010.3 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Serious road collisions50/1002.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour33/10012.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping24/1007.0 incidents per 1,000 people a year, South Hams council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Food hygiene10/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 79 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution6/1003.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 2 | Torquay | 84 |
| 3 | Barnstaple | 69 |
| 4 | Tiverton | 69 |
| 5 | Paignton | 53 |
| – | Totnes | 49 |
| 6 | Exeter | 45 |
| 7 | Bideford | 42 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.8 | Newton Abbot | 39 |
| 9 | Honiton | 37 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Totnes by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 65.1 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 15% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 1 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 About the same: 1.1 per 10,000 people, about the same as the typical town's 1.1
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2023
- Poor Steamer Quay, Dart Estuary's bathing water rating, 2025
What's left on the high street
- 12 pubs, 5 hairdressers, 12 charity shops, 1 vape shop, 2 banks on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 10.9 per 100,000 people, 3.2x the typical town's 3.4
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.3 per 10,000 people, 2.1x the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 1.1 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical English town's 0.7
- 3 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 10.03pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.8x the typical town's 0.5%
- 7.7% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 50% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,619 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 6% higher than the typical town's 1,532
South Hams council
Have a crap-off
Totnes against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.